Forget the Rules: How to Dress for a Wedding and Still Feel Like Yourself
Have you ever walked into a room at an event, wedding or party and realised that you are dressed completely incorrectly?
Maybe you have mis-judged the dress code, or maybe you have something on that doesn’t feel anything like the real you – or maybe you weren’t told that the dress code had changed!
When I was in my early twenties, I had this happen to me. I was invited to a party with my then boyfriend. It was for a group of his friend who had moved into a loft conversion in London and the dress code was black tie – until it changed! My boyfriend didn’t see fit to tell me of the change, so when I turned up in a beautiful red long dress, I had designed and made myself, only to find everyone else in jeans, I froze! The introvert in me wanted to turn tail and run, but when I saw the smirk on my boyfriend’s face, the daughter my mother had brought up decided to fight! So, I marched up to the hosts and said boyfriend and said “thank you so much for inviting me, unfortunately I can’t stay for long a I am due at a first night party soon, but I wanted to drop by to say “enjoy your new home!” I then took a glass of wine, mingled a bit, ignored by now-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend and left. That moment felt so good – but I wouldn’t want to repeat it anytime soon!!
That is an extreme case, but so often I hear from clients that they have gone to their sons or daughter’s wedding for instance and have just felt completely wrong. They thought their outfits were spot on when they tried them in the shops, but on the day they didn’t feel like themselves, felt awkward and out of place and instead of enjoying the occasion like they should, they have felt depressed and just “meh!”
This is such a familiar story – and not just for weddings.
When there is a dress code, or a pre-conceived idea of how one should look, then it is so easy to feel an imposter in what we are wearing. And that is because it just isn’t us! If you are a jeans and t-shirt sort of girl, then to suddenly be dressed up in a slim column dress, high heels and a floppy hat, your inner self is going to be saying “what the heck?!!”.
Or if you are a suit kind of girl and you suddenly have to wear a maxi dress and flip-flops, you are going to feel completely out of place and odd!
Weddings are some of the worst places to feel this. I mean, who was it who stated that every mother of the bride or groom should turn up in a shift dress, bolero jacket and wide brimmed hat? Who was it who dictated to us that only pale colours are allowed? Who said that every maxi-dress should be topped off with a fascinator?
Who said that if you are going to races, for instance, you should be wearing said maxi dress and fascinator (summer), or a tweed skirt, tight fitting tweed jacket and suede, tassled, long boots (winter)?
Yes, obviously, most of us want to fit in, because we want to look as though we belong, whether we do or not, but if by fitting in we completely lose our own identity – is that a good thing?
When I style a client for a special event or wedding, the first thing I want to know is what do they normally wear? What do they feel most comfortable in and, more importantly, what makes them feel most like themselves?
If it is jeans and a t-shirt, then that is quite easily up-graded to smart event wear by changing the jeans for a smart pair of trousers and the t-shirt with a silk version. Top these off with some lovely jewellery and a pair of flat, pointed toe, ballerinas and maybe a jacket and ecco – a smart outfit that fits the dress code and also fits the wearer’s personality.
Just because it is “the done thing”, doesn’t mean to say you have to do it!
I would much prefer someone at my event to feel at home, comfortable and confident enough in their outfit to really enjoy themselves and make the most of the event, than to hide away in a corner, or go home early, just because they feel completely ill-at-ease in their clothes.
Forget the Rules: How to Dress for a Wedding and Still Feel Like Yourself - What do you think?
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