The Midlife Mindset Makeover: Thriving in Your Prime
Art is good for the soul and for your mental health - stay with me on this one ...!
This has been scientifically proven, but I don’t need any sort of report or Government Enquiry for me to know that I always feel so much better mentally when I have been to an art gallery, visited a museum, gone to a classical concert or watched the ballet or opera. There is something about the arts that speaks to me. They still my mind and calm my soul on the one hand, but also stimulate me and inspire me on the other.
And in Italy, of course, you are surrounded by art, culture, and beauty wherever you go. Even in a small, tucked away hill town, you will find stunning artistic works in the humblest of churches. The countryside is breathtaking and everywhere you turn you will find another wonder to marvel at. And it heals me every time I go there.
As Tennessee Williams said in his Memoirs - "As soon as I crossed the Italian border, my health and life seemed to be magically restored. There was the sun and there were the smiling Italians.”
And I feel just the same.
I am incredibly lucky that part of my life is spent living and working there. As soon as I step off the plane, or cross the border in a car, I, like Ilene Modica (Our Italian Journey) feel like I am home. A sense of completeness comes over me and I like the person that I am when I am there.
What it is that makes me feel like that is hard to put my finger on, but it is like the final part of the jigsaw has been slotted into place.
Mental health is very much a hot topic at the moment and rightly so. We, especially women, have a tendency to put everyone else first, fit so much into our days, find it hard to say no and end up running ourselves ragged, day in and day out. We also have been programmed to feel guilty of spending time on ourselves, and also money on ourselves. Investing in ourselves is bottom of the list and even gets pushed off this position when something else comes up.
But our mental health should be top of our list. We need to start to look after ourselves and putting ourselves first. As the saying goes “you can’t drink from an empty cup”, so in order to be able to give to others, we need to replenish our own reserves. We need to change our mindset and re-frame our internal conversations, so that we acknowledge that we are important, and we deserve to be treated by ourselves, the way we treat others!
My happy place - Tarquinia!
As I say, I am very lucky that I have found my happy place and can make it my home and I realise that not many people have that same kind of freedom. But I do believe that it is possible to still find yourself and obtain that sense of completeness by setting out to find who you really are. That person may have been mislaid through the years, but he/she is still there, under all the layers of responsibility, broken dreams, different turns and decisions that have had to be made along the way. To do this you have to strip back all the layers, lay to rest all the triggers that affect your mindset and remove the negative energy from people around you.
It takes time and is an emotional journey, but the end result, of a more confident, positive and empowered you, is worth it. YOU are worth it. You need to find who you are at the core because that person will never change. It might be pushed out of shape a bit through the years and it may have been pushed right down to the bottom of your to-do list, but when you find it again, you will then have that coming home feeling. Everything will suddenly fall into place and your self-confidence and self-assurance will come back.
We have two images, the outer image we portray with our clothes and the inner image that is in our head. These two may not coincide! Have you ever had the feeling in your head that you look like, say, Audrey Hepburn, in the outfit you are wearing and how it is making you feel, but you catch sight of yourself in a shop window and look so totally different from that internal image, you feel disorientated and completely deflated?
One’s self-image can be so powerful that people have been known to see themselves as having no legs and don’t feel complete until they have their legs amputated! This is a condition known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and although this is obviously a very extreme case, it serves to show how powerful your internal image can be.
If you see yourself, in your internal image, as a fat, frumpy 50 something woman, then until that internal image has been reformed, you are never going to feel comfortable or happy in your outer image.
Some people feel ugly on the inside, but can be considered extremely beautiful, or are considered plain on the outside, but feel internally very beautiful. The internal image is the strongest – no matter how you look externally, if you feel beautiful and worthy on the inside, this is going to shine out of you and dazzle everyone you meet.
This is where Style Coaching differs from image consultancy. We help to change that internal image to a positive one. No amount of change of clothes, hairstyle or cosmetic surgery will help if this isn’t done first.
I would be honoured to go with you on your journey to find the you that is at your core - for more information click here or email me at info@elinorsalter.com
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