Back to Tarquinia: The Town That Never Left Our Hearts (moving to Italy)

Where renovation meets reinvention — our real Italian story, beyond the bella figura.

Twenty years ago, we did something most people only dream about. We left our life in Worcestershire, packed up our home — horses, dogs, our four-year-old son — and moved to Italy. Not for a holiday, not for a gap year. We lived here. Worked here. Raised our little boy here, while I trained as a personal stylist in Milan and fell head-over-heels in love with Italian style, life, and everything in between.

We lived in Tarquinia — a sun-drenched medieval town perched just above the sea, where every cobbled street felt like a secret and every meal tasted like a celebration. And then, life pulled us away. We went back to the UK for family reasons, and while we built a life there again, a part of our hearts stayed behind.

For years we talked about returning - moving to Italy. And now… we finally have.

This time, we didn’t arrive with a moving van full of dreams. We arrived with a caravan, a renovation project, and a few extra wrinkles (the good kind — the ones that come from living). But the dream? It’s still here. In fact, it feels bigger now. Deeper. More rooted.

This blog — La Vita Not-So-Dolce (Sometimes) — isn’t just about moving countries or fixing up old walls. It’s about what happens when you decide to start again. When you choose to chase the life you thought might have passed you by. When you embrace the beauty and the breakdowns — because both are part of the story.

So what can you expect here?

You’ll find the real stuff:

• Caravan chaos and cappuccino moments

• Renovation dust and rekindled friendships

• Trips to the ferramenta (hardware store) and the market stall with the perfect €8 sunglasses

• Stories of rebuilding a home and a life — one that feels more aligned than ever

  
  

And because style is always stitched into who I am, you’ll find threads of it here too — but not the polished version from my professional site. This is about everyday elegance, the kind that happens when you drink your espresso from a chipped cup in the morning sun and feel more like yourself than you have in years.

We’ve come full circle. Not to recreate the past, but to finally build the future we were meant for. The not-so-dolce, totally-worth-it kind.

Welcome to our unfiltered Italian life. I’m so glad you’re here.

PS:

If you’ve ever dreamed of moving to Italy, reinventing your life, or simply living more beautifully — even when things aren’t perfect — make yourself at home. I’ll be sharing the good, the gritty, and the gloriously unexpected every week.

What Italian Beaches Taught Me About Aging, Confidence & Style - midlife style transformation

The other day, while sitting under a sun umbrella on the coast, watching Italian families unpack their picnics and shake out their towels, I had a moment of stillness — and realization.

There is no Photoshop on the beach!

Every kind of body is on full display here: Mothers with C-section scars bending down to build sandcastles. Older women with strong legs and soft stomachs, walking confidently in bikinis. Teenagers in tiny swimsuits, laughing unselfconsciously.Men of all shapes letting their bellies hang out as they order gelato.

And no one — no one — seems to care.

There’s a kind of radical acceptance on Italian beaches that you just don’t see elsewhere. It’s not that people don’t want to look good — they do. But they dress for pleasure, for comfort, and for themselves. Not for likes. Not for approval. Not for some mythical "beach body" ideal.

It made me reflect:

When did we learn to be ashamed of our bodies? When did we start thinking we had to earn the right to be seen?

Aging doesn’t make us less worthy of style, attention, or beauty. In fact, I’d argue it makes us more deserving for a midlife style transformation.

What Italian Women Know That We Don’t - midlife style transformation

There’s a deep cultural understanding in Italy — one that many of us weren’t raised with — that beauty is not perfection. It’s presence. It’s self-respect. It’s showing up as the woman you are today.

Italian women embrace the art of bella figura, not to impress others, but to honour themselves. They wear lipstick to the market, beautiful sandals to the beach, and they never apologize for being seen.

Even as they age, they don't shrink themselves — they refine themselves.

They don’t wait to lose ten pounds to wear the dress. They don’t hide their arms in July. They don’t need permission to feel good in their skin.

But Here’s the Problem:

Most women I work with — especially expats or those over 40 — don’t feel that way.They tell me:

“I feel invisible now.”“My body has changed and I don’t know how to dress anymore.”“I don’t want to be seen — I don’t even know who I am in this new phase.”

I understand that deeply. I’ve been there too.

But here’s what I want you to know:You do not need to disappear just because you’re getting older. You do not need to dress in apology.And you certainly don’t need to “fix” yourself to feel beautiful again.

Free Style Passport Call

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My Role as a Personal Stylist Isn’t to “Make You Look Younger.”

It’s to help you feel confident in the body you have — right now.To remind you of the power of elegance, not perfection. To show you how to express who you really are through how you dress.

Because when you learn to see yourself through a new lens — not the filtered one the world shows you — everything starts to shift.

You stop hiding.You start blooming.And people notice.

Not because you’re trying to be someone you’re not — but because you’re finally showing up as you.

Ready to Be Seen Again?

If you’ve lost touch with your style, your self-confidence, or simply don’t know where to begin — I’ve created something just for you:

The Italian Ritual Guide A free downloadable guide to help you reconnect with your style, your identity, and your Italian self.

Download it here

And if you’re ready to take the next step, I’m offering a few complimentary Style Passport Calls this week.

Free Style Passport Call

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Let’s talk about how you want to feel when you walk out the door — and how to dress for that version of you.

DM me “Style” or book your call here:

Because your story isn’t over. In fact — this might be the most beautiful chapter yet.

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What La Dolce Vita Really Means to Me — And Why Style Is Never Frivolous - Style and self-worth

When people hear the words La Dolce Vita, they often picture something out of a dreamy Italian film: Vespa rides at sunset, glasses of wine on a piazza, gelato in hand, and flowing dresses catching the breeze on cobbled streets.

And yes… I won’t lie. There’s a little of that magic woven into the everyday life here in Italy. But the true essence of La Dolce Vita—the Sweet Life—is something far deeper.

For me, La Dolce Vita isn’t a fantasy or a highlight reel you see on Instagram.It’s real.It’s accessible.And it’s something every woman—wherever she lives—deserves to feel in her soul, every single day.

So what is La Dolce Vita to me? - Style and self-worth

It’s waking up and choosing yourself before the world demands your attention.It’s pouring your morning coffee in a beautiful cup, not the chipped one you keep meaning to throw away.It’s standing in front of your wardrobe and selecting clothes that make you feel like the most radiant version of yourself—even if no one but you will see them that day.

It’s taking the time to care.About your body.About your energy.About your presence.

And yes—about your style.

Let me tell you something I really, really want you to hear:

Style is not frivolous.

It’s not just for rich women.It’s not a luxury reserved for celebrities, fashionistas, or magazine covers.It’s not something you save for weddings, big occasions, or “when I finally lose the weight.”

And it’s certainly not an extra or a “treat” that you need to earn.

Somewhere along the way, women were taught that investing time, care, or money into how they present themselves to the world was shallow… self-indulgent… even selfish.

But I need you to know the truth.

How you show up matters.

The way you dress, the way you carry yourself, the energy you radiate—these are not superficial things. They are deeply tied to your self-worth, your confidence, and your joy.

Think about this: People will invest thousands into therapy (and rightly so), life coaching, personal training, meditation apps… all the things designed to make us feel better on the inside.

But what about the outside—the part the world actually sees first?What about the way you dress, the way you stand, the way you walk into a room and take up space?

This is not about impressing others. It’s about you. About feeling good in your skin. About sending a message to the world—and to yourself—that you are worthy of care, attention, and beauty.

Style coaching is not about trends or fashion rules.It’s about reclaiming your identity.It’s about reconnecting with who you truly are—or who you once dreamed of being before life got in the way.

It’s about waking up, opening your wardrobe, and feeling excited—not defeated.

Why does this matter so much to me?

Because I lived the other way for years.

I know what it feels like to shrink. To feel invisible. To stop caring because you’ve convinced yourself it’s “not worth it” or “not the right time.”

But Italy changed that for me.Here, style is not an afterthought. It’s woven into life. It’s respect—for yourself, and for others.

And this belief is at the heart of my new Signature Experience—coming soon.

Not just a style makeover.Not just clothes.A whole life reawakening.

A way to experience La Dolce Vita in your own way—no matter where you live. No matter your size, age, budget, or lifestyle.

Because you deserve to live beautifully, fully, and confidently every day.

If this speaks to your soul... if you’re tired of feeling invisible... if you long for elegance, confidence, and a little Italian magic in your life...

I see you.

And I invite you to start with something simple:

This is why I do the work I do. Because your style—when aligned with who you are—can transform your life.

But maybe something is holding you back.

Maybe you want to reclaim your elegance… but you don’t know where to begin.

💡 Is it guilt? Fear? Confusion?

Let’s find out.

Take my free quiz: What’s Really Holding You Back from Italian Elegance?

In just a few minutes, you’ll uncover the hidden style block that’s keeping you stuck—and get personalised tips to help you move forward with confidence and ease.

Your La Dolce Vita starts here.

[Take the Quiz Now]

Tell me in the comments below (or hit reply): What does La Dolce Vita look like for you? How would your life change if you felt confident, elegant, and radiant every day?

I’d truly love to know.

Con amore,Elinor